My pediatrician looked at me, “Most people don’t wake up and run 6 miles.” I thought to myself, “But I do!” Since high school running has been a big part of my life. I fell in love with the sport through my cross-country team. Unfortunately, my undiagnosed MS kept interfering with my ability to play the sport that I loved. Each Spring since 2019, I’ve experienced symptoms of my MS. The first time, it was paresthesias on the right side of my body then the following year they were on my left. I was told it was a pinched nerve in my shoulder from walking my energetic dog. In Spring 2020, I decided to go to a chiropractor to see if he could adjust me and get rid of this recurring pinched nerve problem. After about a month of acupuncture and electrical stimulus treatment, the tingling feeling that ran from my torso to my toes resolved. A far cry from spring 2021, which was completely different.
While playing tennis with my boyfriend’s mom, I developed a minor headache behind my right eyebrow. I didn’t think anything of it because I often get headaches from the sun with my sensitive eyes. But, as an hour progressed, my headache became debilitating. It felt like someone had hit me with a sledgehammer on my temple. I couldn’t move. When I tried to walk to the bathroom while waiting for my dad to pick me up, I realized that I couldn’t. I had become intensely imbalanced and dizzy. With the world spinning, I went to the hospital, where they gave me IV fluids and pain medication for the migraine. I went home feeling better, but I again couldn’t walk the following morning and my right side wasn’t working right. I didn’t have motor control of my hand, my face was numb and tingly, and my right foot dragged. I was too dizzy to sit up in bed and my limbs were weak. At the hospital, I remember one of the neurological tests they conducted where I couldn’t connect my finger to my nose and then to the doctor’s outstretched finger. My MRI showed I had more than 10 lesions on my brain and 8 on my spinal cord.
After three days of steroids, a spinal tap, and various other tests; I came home a week later. I was in the process of getting a treatment that would start in about a month. Well, my MS couldn’t wait that long and I had yet another relapse 5 weeks after the first one. This one started with overnight vomiting and continued with that same dizzy imbalance I had experienced. I had several new lesions. I went through another round of steroids and my first Rituxan treatment.
My MS seems to be controlled now. I’ve gone through another successful treatment and my recent MRIs showed no new lesions, as well as all my existing ones, having shrunk. I am lucky my medicine worked so quickly and effectively.
One of the hardest things about my MS was how it stopped me from doing active things that I loved. When my body wasn’t working the way it was supposed to, I was frustrated. I wanted to get outside and run as far as I wanted to without this limit that I couldn’t even see. Suddenly I relished those days I could exercise and I couldn’t believe I took them for granted. I am fortunate to have recovered fully from each of my relapses, though it took some time. After the first relapse of 2021, I struggled with writing. I remember trying to play tennis, but my arm wasn’t moving the way I wanted it to. I wondered if my body would always stay like this, but I didn’t let myself accept that. Instead, I kept doing the activities that I loved and my physical ability returned.
At this point, I forget most days that I have MS. I feel like an ordinary college student, just like everyone else. Other times, I am reminded. It makes me want to work harder. Every time I do something that makes me proud, I am even stronger because I am doing it despite my disease. It makes me want to set more goals because if I can achieve them, even with misconnections in my brain and odd recurring symptoms, I know I can do anything. I want to push my body as far as it will go. I have dreams of doing ironmans, marathons, and becoming this lifelong endurance athlete. I also want to show other young people with MS that it doesn’t have to limit us. I am 18 and I have so many more opportunities and possibilities waiting to be used. This is why I wanted to become a part of MS4MS, to share this experience with other people my age and hopefully show them it’s just a diagnosis. You can still be in control with MS.
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