My MS Story

I was 28 years old and my life ahead was full of promise and hope. I had recently landed an incredible job in sunny southern California and my wife and I were expecting our second child. I had served in the military for four years and pursued my MBA immediately thereafter while working various jobs with a full time workload. For several years, I tirelessly pushed myself to my limits physically, mentally, and emotionally. All of my hard work and diligence was beginning to pay off. It finally felt like I could begin to harvest the fruit of my dedication.

My symptoms presented themselves so precipitously and with the utmost tenacity that my healthcare team initially hypothesized that I was battling a progressive form of MS and warned that things might only get worse. Being confined to a wheelchair for the rest of my life became a newfound potential state of being.

Little did I know that my biggest challenge in life was about to manifest through an unexpected life changing utterance of three words: “you have MS.” It took only three weeks to go from a vibrant and strong physical state to being confined to walking with a cane and nearly wheelchair bound. My vision became completely blurry and doubled. I experienced heart-attack-like chest pains, throat tightening, and episodic seizing of my entire body. Perhaps most humiliating was my inability to control my bladder which led to multiple instances in which I woke up to a soiled bed.

During this tumultuous diagnostic-phase of my multiple sclerosis journey, I was overwhelmed with a sense of defiance and determination. There had to be a way to beat this; somehow I could win. I poured myself into every and any resource I could get my hands on. Devouring books, videos, and online articles became an obsessive compulsion. After weeks worth of research and contemplation I came to this conclusion: while there is no cure for MS – there are things I can do to be proactive against this disease, so that’s what I began doing.

I began my battle against MS with dietary changes. If I couldn’t move well I could at least control what went into my body. I immediately changed my diet and in a very significant way. It began with illuminating foods high in saturated fats and dairy products. I didn’t recognize any changes in my health at first. If anything, my body and mind resisted my efforts as I constantly craved that which I was trying to remove. Nevertheless, I decided to stay patient and stay the course.

More challenging than the dietary changes was the struggle to start moving. At the beginning of my MS journey I could barely walk, let alone jog or run. Any attempts at exercising seemed like a counterintuitive effort. I lacked the energy to move, would burn out quickly if I tried, and would finish feeling even more exhausted than when I started. Irrespective of how I felt, I forged on anyway. I didn’t allow my body’s physiological response to dictate my commitment to the process. Instead, I put my trust in my faith (God and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ), the science of neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to adapt and rewire body-to-mind nerve connections), and the body’s incredible ability to heal itself (when subjected to an ideal environment).

Maintaining consistency with that sort of mindset has and continues to be the consistent thread that is interwoven throughout my recovery journey. Overtime, I would continue eliminating more things in my diet linked to inflammation. I now find myself adhering to a diet that is vegan, gluten free, soy free, sugar free, caffeine free, and one that is low FODMAP (fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides and polyols).

MS is a disease which saps the sense of control from a person’s life. There are so many unknowns and uncertainties. Even the most mundane becomes overly complex. Tasks as simple as moving one foot forward become fraught with risk. What I have learned, is that the best way to overcome these obstacles is simply to go through them. For me, that meant going to the gym and working out even when it made my symptoms worse.

I would push myself to the realm of uncomfortableness on a regular basis. I would be working out while my vision was completely blurry, my legs shaking uncontrollably, and my body feeling overly exhausted and fatigued. There were countless moments in which I wanted to quit. Those urges to surrender were motivated by fear and doubt. I feared the worsening of my disease and wrestled with the doubt that my efforts would inevitably be in vain.

Ultimately, I made the choice to accept the results either way. I would either get better or I would get worse. Either way, I chose to control the controllable and strive to give my all to the process. I cemented a new way of living, one that is defined by my new life’s creed: “embrace the day.” To embrace is to welcome with enthusiasm. It’s easy to embrace that which we desire. It’s much harder to embrace the opposite. Yet, to truly “embrace the day,” one has to be resolved to embrace both the good and the bad – for both are certain to come. More often than not it is actually the challenges and trials of this life (the bad things) that have the most to teach us. They test our character and build our resilience. So when my MS rises up and threatens to beat me down, I embrace it – and see the challenge as an opportunity for growth rather than a hopeless sentencing of futility.

Thanks to my commitment to faith, fitness, and nutrition – I’ve overcome the odds. I’ve completed three full distance IRONMAN triathlons. I not only take group fitness classes, but am also an instructor and trainer for these programs as well. Fitness has become an autonomous function of my everyday living. While MS may dictate my level of energy and level of function, it is my attitude that keeps me moving.

To say that I did any of this on my own would be a major grievance against so many that have helped and supported me along the way. My wife, Nikki, has been my rock and strongest advocate through all of this. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. I’ve also been blessed by the mentorship and guidance of so many heroes of this community, some of which include: David Lyons, Mathew Embry, James Drake, and Sam Greenberg. My seemingly impossible IRONMAN pursuits were initiated by a man that believed in my ability before I could even see it myself: Kevin Long. Ultimately, all of the glory belongs to God and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I’m not sure what the next few years will have in store for me. It has been five years since I was diagnosed with MS. I certainly didn’t imagine a future in which I’d be able to accomplish as much as I have thus far. If MS has taught me anything, it’s that life is uncertain and the time that we have today is precious. While I will continue to do everything within my power to control the controllable, MS may still have its way with me. As much as I want to avoid that fate, I’m hopeful that if it indeed manifests, that I’ll be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong enough to continue living my life’s motto, and “embrace the day.”